_rant
Sunday, March 14, 2010 12:01 AM


All these moments in my head, replayed infinitely until time lets me forget.  So much to say without the strength to say it, not as if it would matter at the slightest.  You're not even here anymore.  I like to entertain the idea if you had come back, rushing back  to me with such enthusiasm and with a hint of desperation in your voice.  At least this time I would take great consideration as to how I would treat you, knowing I've already lost you once.  But do you really think people learn from their mistakes?  I hardly think so.  I suppose the urge and the desire to act upon that impulse is still there but buried with time, or so thought to be.  Despite how many people are chastised, punished, or locked away, killing, murdering, and raping of the innocence still ensues day after day, year after year, and time after time.  How long do you think humanity has?  To stay and thrive upon this blue speck of dust?  This is what watching zombie movies does to me.
"If you look at the whole life of the planet, we... you know, man, has only been around for a few blinks of an eye. So if the infection wipes us all out, that is a return to normality."
~ Sergeant Farrell, 28 Days Later (2002)
Beautiful sphere of life, breathing in a disease, that incessantly crawls in and around her skin.  Cysts that create smog, her once luxurious natural exterior is being plastered over with the waste of parasites that don't even respect her anymore.  The once symbiotic relationship that flourished has turned into a parasitical one.  Poor mother earth, you die aching, you die slowly, until you can breathe again.
Remind me not of the regret I have lived through, but of what I have overcome.  But in harsh and distinct reality, what I have I really gone through?  Nothing.  Just nothing.  Trivial pursuits in hopes of something that I am not even entirely sure of, in order to impress people that don't give a shit or seeking the approval of those who won't stay long enough to care.
Everyone is so needy, so clingy and needy, with such high standards set in order to live.  I don't even know anymore.  I'm just so tired and cold.  Restlessness and listlessness lay me to sleep.
By the way, I still adore you.  Fragments and pieces of me that I still enjoy are with you.  Take care mi corazón.

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